Let’s be honest — it’s easy to say “reach out” or “talk to someone,” but what if you don’t actually know who you can turn to? What if the people around you aren’t as supportive as they seem? That’s what this episode is all about: building a support network that actually works when things get real.

Because life isn’t just about the good days. It’s about who shows up when things fall apart — and learning how to recognise (and build) those relationships can make a huge difference.

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What does “real support” actually look like?

Not everyone needs the same kind of support. Some people want a good listener. Others want practical help. And some just want someone to show up and say, “You’re not on your own.”
Start by asking yourself: What do I actually want from the people around me?

Think back to times you’ve needed help. Who showed up? Who didn’t? Who made it about themselves? That tells you a lot about what support feels like for you — and what to look for.

Take a good look at who’s already around you

This bit’s important. Ask yourself:

• Do they listen when you talk?
• Are they there when things get tough, or only when things are fun?
• Do you leave conversations feeling better — or drained?

This isn’t about cutting people off. It’s about getting honest about who’s actually helpful when you’re struggling.
A big friend list doesn’t mean you’re supported. It just means you’re connected. That’s not the same thing.

You can’t build a strong network without showing up, too

Support isn’t a one-way street. If you want people to be there for you, you need to be someone they can rely on, too.

Check in. Send the text. Be the mate who notices when something’s off — and shows up anyway.
When people know they can count on you, they’re much more likely to be there when you need them.

Tell them they’re in your corner — and why it matters

This might sound weird at first, but it’s one of the most powerful things you can do.

Try saying something like:
“Look, I need you to know that you’re one of the few people I actually rely on. Just knowing you’re there makes a big difference to me.”

When someone knows they matter to you — that you trust them — they take you seriously. And when it counts, they’re more likely to respond with real effort, not just a thumbs-up emoji.

It’s okay to ask for help — and to be direct about it

Don’t wait until you’re falling apart. If you need someone to talk to, say so.
If you need advice, ask for it. You don’t have to drop your entire life story in one go — just start small.

Something like:
“Hey, can I talk to you about something that’s been on my mind?”
or
“I’m having a bit of a rough one — could use a second to vent.”

Being clear helps people understand that what you’re saying matters.

And don’t forget to say thank you

When someone’s there for you, let them know it made a difference.
Not a generic “cheers” — but a proper,
“Thanks for listening — that really meant a lot.”

It shows you’re not taking them for granted, and it makes them want to keep showing up for you.

Some people will surprise you — in both directions

When you start being more open, some people will step up. Others won’t. That’s okay.
You’re not asking for too much — you’re just learning who’s actually got your back.

You might also find support in unexpected places — like mentors, older siblings, teachers, coaches. These people aren’t in your everyday drama, so they can offer perspective and calm that your peers sometimes can’t.

And when things get serious — go to an adult you trust

Not every situation can be solved in a group chat. If you feel unsafe, overwhelmed, or stuck — talk to an adult who will listen properly and take action if needed.
This isn’t weakness. It’s strength. It’s you taking yourself seriously.

Final thought

Building a real support network isn’t about collecting people. It’s about choosing a few who matter — and letting them know they matter.

Be clear about what you need. Be someone others can rely on. And don’t stay quiet just because it feels easier.

You don’t have to go through it all alone.

Know someone who needs to hear this?

Then pass it on. Drop them the link. Send it privately. Post it up.
Because someone else might be struggling right now — and this might be exactly what they needed.