Feeling Not Good Enough — Where It Comes From and How to Change It

We’ve all had that thought: I’m not good enough. Maybe it creeps in quietly. Maybe it’s loud. But when it shows up, it doesn’t just sit there. It gets in the way. It holds you back. It stops you saying things, trying things, and believing you might actually be alright as you are.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone — and no, it’s not just in your head. That “not good enough” feeling comes from somewhere. And the sooner you figure out where, the sooner you can stop it running the show.

This post is about that voice. The one that says you’re not measuring up — not smart enough, not successful enough, not attractive enough, not anything enough. Where it comes from, why it sticks, and what you can do to start changing it.

Because it is changeable. But only if you’re willing to be honest with yourself.

Let’s be real: it’s not always your voice. That “not good enough” thought — you know the one — didn’t come out of nowhere. More often than not, it started out as someone else’s voice. A parent. A teacher. A coach. Someone who meant well, or maybe didn’t. But either way, it stuck. And over time, it started sounding like you.

It’s easy to forget that. To assume it’s true because it’s familiar. But just because you’ve thought something a thousand times doesn’t mean it’s yours, or that it’s right.

So next time it shows up — that thought telling you you’re not enough — stop and ask: Whose voice is this, really?

You’re comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel

And you're doing it on autopilot. Scrolling through perfect photos, achievements, relationships, bodies, lives — and holding yourself up to all of it. No wonder you feel behind.

But you’re not seeing the full picture. No one’s posting the late nights, the anxiety, the rejection emails, the messy bits. Just the filtered wins. And if you're using that to measure your worth, of course you're going to feel like you’re falling short.

So stop playing a game that was rigged from the start.

High standards are one thing. Impossible ones are another.

You might think you’re just ambitious. Pushing yourself. Never satisfied.

But let’s get honest. If you keep moving the goalposts every time you hit one, when do you actually get to feel good about yourself?

Motivation isn’t about punishing yourself for not being perfect. Set a goal. Hit it. Let yourself feel it. Then move forward. Otherwise you’re just running on a treadmill that never stops.

Sometimes “not good enough” is just fear wearing a mask

And fear’s clever. It disguises itself. Tells you it’s keeping you safe. Tells you not to bother trying, because what if you fail?

But not trying doesn’t protect you — it keeps you stuck. You don’t grow from avoiding things. You grow by getting uncomfortable, trying anyway, and learning that you can handle whatever comes up.

So stop letting fear call the shots.

Decide who you’re trying to be “good enough” for

This one’s big. Because half the time, you’re not even living by your own standards. You’re chasing approval from people who don’t know you, don’t get you, or aren’t even thinking about you.

Are you trying to live up to someone else’s version of success? Are they even living a life you’d want?

You don’t need everyone to clap for you. You just need to start clapping for yourself.

Final thought

There’s no quick fix here. No magic quote that makes the doubt disappear. But there is a way forward. And it starts with challenging the story you’ve been carrying — that you’re not enough — and asking whether it’s actually true.

You’re not here to be perfect. You’re here to be real. To learn. To grow. And to start deciding, on your own terms, what “enough” looks like.

👂🏽 Prefer to listen?

This post is based on Episode 1 of the Headstraight podcast. If you’d rather hear me take you through the full breakdown — you can listen below:

🎧 Click here to open the episode on your preferred platform.

Know someone who needs to hear this?

Copy the link. Send it to a mate. Share it in your group chat. There’s always someone who needs to hear they’re not the only one feeling like this — and that it can change.