How Do I Know If I’m Still Growing?

There comes a point in growth where things stop announcing themselves. Nothing dramatic happens. There’s no clear moment where you think, Ah, yes — this is progress. Life carries on much as it did before. You still get annoyed. You still have bad days. You still care about things.

And that’s often when the doubt creeps in.

You start wondering whether anything is actually changing. Whether all the effort you’ve put in has led anywhere at all. Because if you were really growing, surely you’d feel different, wouldn’t you?

This episode sits right in that question. Not at the beginning of change, where everything feels new and obvious, but later on — when growth becomes quieter and much harder to spot.

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The Moments You Almost Don’t Notice

One of the clearest signs of growth at this stage is also the easiest to miss. Something happens that would have knocked you sideways before — a comment, a disappointment, a stressful moment — and this time it doesn’t take over.

You still notice it. You still feel it. But it doesn’t spiral. You cool off quicker. You don’t say the thing you would have said before. You don’t replay it all evening. Sometimes you even let it go without forcing yourself to.

And because nothing dramatic happened, your brain barely registers it. Later, you might even think, Nothing really changed there.

But something did.

This episode isn’t about how confident you feel or how motivated you are. It’s about the small differences that stop standing out once they start to feel normal. Because growth doesn’t always feel like improvement. Sometimes it feels like less happening.

Why You Might Be Checking the Wrong Things

Most people measure growth by asking one simple question: Do I feel better? And early on, that makes sense. At the beginning, change often comes with relief, clarity, or a noticeable lift.

But later on, that question stops being helpful.

Growth doesn’t move in straight lines, and it doesn’t keep rewarding you with strong feelings. If you only look for confidence, motivation, or obvious wins, you’ll miss what’s actually shifting underneath. That’s why people so often say, I don’t think I’m making progress anymore, at the exact moment when progress is quietly settling in.

At this stage, growth shows up smaller. Not louder, not more impressive — just steadier.

What Growth Looks Like Later On

Once change starts to bed in, it doesn’t erase problems. Life still happens. Stress still shows up. But the impact changes.

You might notice that things still bother you, but they don’t last as long. You might catch reactions sooner, or recover more quickly after a bad day. Maybe you don’t spiral as far, or you stop making everything mean something about you.

None of this feels exciting. None of it earns praise. But it’s real.

Growth here isn’t about never struggling. It’s about struggling with less damage. And that matters far more than most people realise.

The “Nothing Happened” Trap

This is the point where a lot of people get stuck.

Something stressful happens and you handle it… okay. Not perfectly. Not heroically. Just well enough that there’s no blow-up, no fallout, no dramatic moment.

And because nothing exploded, your brain reaches the wrong conclusion: That didn’t count.

But sometimes nothing happening is the sign.

The argument that didn’t escalate. The mood that didn’t ruin the whole day. The setback that didn’t knock you completely off course. These are not absences of progress — they are the proof of it.

They just don’t feel impressive.

What to Compare Instead

If you really want to know whether you’re still growing, it helps to change what you’re comparing.

Stop measuring today against how you want to be. Start measuring it against how you used to be.

Does this bother you less than it would have before?
Do you bounce back quicker?
Do you notice yourself sooner?

You don’t need a confident yes to all of them. If you can answer even one with, Yeah… a bit actually, that counts.

Growth rarely arrives all at once. It spreads unevenly. Quietly.

When Growth Becomes Who You Are

Here’s something people don’t talk about enough: growth isn’t meant to feel different forever. If it did, you’d be exhausted.

At some point, change blends into who you are. It becomes how you respond, what you tolerate, where you pause, and what you don’t chase anymore. And when that happens, you stop noticing it — the same way you don’t notice breathing until something goes wrong.

That doesn’t mean growth has stopped. It means it’s settled.

This is where people get confused. They think that if they’re still struggling, they must not be growing. But struggle and growth often happen at the same time. Upset doesn’t erase learning. Bad days don’t reset everything.

What matters isn’t whether you struggle. It’s how long things last, how deeply they pull you in, and how quickly you come back.

Those are quiet changes — but they’re strong ones.

Why This Stage Feels Flat

This part of the journey doesn’t feel exciting. It doesn’t get applause. From the outside, it looks ordinary. And because of that, people often get bored here. They start thinking, Is this it?

But this stage is where things stabilise. Where change stops being forced. Where you stop trying so hard. Where growth starts to feel normal.

If you quit here, you don’t go backwards. You just stop something that was about to become second nature.

Learning to Spot Quiet Progress

If you’re wondering whether you’re still growing, the answer probably isn’t hidden in how you feel. It’s in what doesn’t linger anymore. In what you don’t chase. In what you don’t say. In how quickly things pass.

Growth gets quieter because it’s working.

And learning to recognise that is what keeps you steady when things stop feeling dramatic.

Next Time: When Growth Starts to Feel Tiring

In the next episode, we’ll talk about what happens when even steady growth starts to feel exhausting. When part of you wonders why you’re still bothering. When staying regulated feels like effort instead of progress.

Because sometimes the hardest part of growth isn’t starting — it’s staying.

That’s where we’re heading next.