Why Fear Holds You Back - and What to Do About It

Fear isn’t always obvious.

It doesn’t always feel like panic or dread. Sometimes it just feels like waiting. Rechecking. Putting things off. Telling yourself you’ll start when you’re ready — but somehow, “ready” never quite arrives.

This episode of Headstraight is about that kind of fear. The kind that quietly delays things that matter. The kind that shapes your decisions without ever announcing itself. It doesn’t stop you with a loud “no” — it just talks you into “not yet.”

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Fear rarely shows up as fear

It’s more subtle than that. It sounds like logic:

“Now isn’t the right time.”

“I just need to feel more confident.”

“I’m being sensible — I don’t want to rush it.”

It can even sound like self-respect — “I want to do it properly.”
But if you’ve been saying the same thing for weeks, months, maybe longer… it’s worth asking what’s really going on.

Because when we dig into it, most of the time it’s not about being unprepared — it’s about fear. And that fear usually traces back to something you’ve felt before: rejection, failure, being ignored, being embarrassed.

That’s what fear protects you from — not the thing in front of you, but the feeling behind it.

What fear’s really protecting you from

Your brain isn’t built for achievement. It’s built for safety. Its job is to avoid risk — even if that risk is only emotional. That means your system is designed to scan for danger, compare it with past experiences, and steer you towards the familiar.

Even if the familiar is keeping you stuck.

If you’ve ever felt yourself freeze at the idea of doing something simple — making a call, joining a conversation, pressing “post” — that’s not laziness. That’s your system detecting perceived risk and hitting the brakes.

And it happens fast. You feel a nudge to act… then within seconds, your mind floods with doubt. You imagine what might go wrong. Your body tenses. Your thoughts speed up. Your confidence drops. So you pause. You wait. And fear wins — again.

It’s not about being fearless

Trying to get rid of fear completely is pointless. And unnecessary. Fear’s not the problem. Letting it run the show — that’s the bit we can change.

So let’s talk about how.

Three tools that help break fear’s grip

1. The Five-Second Window

Fear thrives in hesitation. If you give it time, it will build a whole argument for inaction. So the goal is to move before that window closes.

As soon as you feel the nudge to do something — speak, stand up, click send — count down: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 — go.

You’re not waiting to feel ready. You’re cutting through the noise before it starts. It doesn’t have to be dramatic — the power is in starting.

Use it on small things to begin with:

Press send on a message.

Make a call you’ve been avoiding.

Say something you’ve been holding back.

Small, repeated acts train your brain to tolerate discomfort and reduce fear’s influence over time.

2. Shrink the Task

If something feels overwhelming, it probably is — too big, too unknown, too heavy.

So shrink it.

You don’t need to tackle the full version of the fear. Instead:

Share a piece of your idea with one person, rather than putting it online.

Practise a conversation before having it.

Try something new for ten minutes instead of committing to an hour.

Fear will tell you you have to go all in or not at all. That’s nonsense. Progress starts with manageable steps. Each one builds evidence: “I can do this.”

3. Name the Fear

One of the most effective things you can do is name what you’re feeling. Call it out, clearly:

“This is fear of being judged.”

“This is fear of getting it wrong.”

“This is fear of not being good enough.”

Once it’s named, it’s visible. It’s no longer sneaking in disguised as logic or caution.
And once it’s visible, you get to decide how much attention it deserves.

This step doesn’t remove fear — but it does reduce its grip. You’re no longer acting from fear unconsciously. You’re choosing, with full awareness, whether to listen.

Try this

Before the day’s out, take five minutes and ask yourself:

What’s something I’ve been putting off?

What reason have I been giving myself?

If I took fear out of the equation — would I have already done it?

What’s one small action I could take today — even if it’s only ten seconds long?

If the answer makes you a bit uncomfortable — that’s probably the right direction.

You don’t need a breakthrough. You just need movement.

Final thought

Fear is part of being human. It’s not a flaw. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or not ready.
But when fear is running the show — dressed up as “not yet” or “be careful” — you stay stuck.

And the longer you stay stuck, the more convincing fear becomes.

So here’s your reminder:
You don’t need to feel ready. You just need to get moving.
One step. Then another.

And when fear pipes up again (because it will), come back to this episode. Or the cheat sheet in the episode description — the tools are there to keep you going.

Share it

If there’s someone in your life who second-guesses themselves or always waits for the perfect moment — send them this episode. Not as a lecture. Just as something to listen to when they’re ready. Quiet support goes a long way.

Next week on Headstraight

We’re looking at patterns — the ones that don’t help but feel impossible to shake. Self-sabotage, emotional loops, toxic dynamics. Why they stick. How to spot them. And what to do when you’re ready to change the script.

See you there.