How to Stop Letting Fear Run Your Life: Overcoming Fear and Self Doubt

Mark:00:01

Mine's Mark, and you're listening to Head Straight. Hello, you lot, and welcome back. Right then. Let's talk fear. Not the the loud kind, the I'm about to get on stage kind, or I heard a noise downstairs kind.

Mark:00:29

I'm talking about the quiet kind. The kind that doesn't scream but whispers. The fear that stops you from sending the email. The fear that keeps you editing the post but never clicking upload. And the fear that makes you sit with a big idea for weeks, months, even years and still not acting on it.

Mark:00:47

And the thing about this kind of fear, it's sneaky. It doesn't show up as I'm scared. It shows up as well, I'm not ready or I'll wait until things feel a bit more stable or maybe next week. Now it's not that you're lazy. It's that the fear has got you convinced that you're just being realistic.

Mark:01:07

So that's what this episode is about. How to spot fear when it's hiding in plain sight, how to respond to it differently, and how to stop it quietly running your life without you even knowing it. Now in season one, we started to unpack how emotions like fear don't just live in your head. They live in your choices, in your reactions, and the stuff that you avoid. We talked about guilt, about feeling unsafe, about how overwhelming emotions can hijack your behavior before you even realise it.

Mark:01:39

You started learning the patterns, where they show up, and why. In this episode, it's about moving. Not just recognizing fear, but understanding what to do when it whispers, don't. Because here's the truth. You can't outthink fear, but you can stop letting it run the show.

Mark:02:00

Now here's something that just might sound a bit weird. Fear wears disguises. So let me break this down. Fear doesn't always feel like fear. It shows up wearing masks like, I'll start once I'm prepared.

Mark:02:14

I just need to get everything perfect first. Now is not the right time. Sound familiar? Probably. That's fear.

Mark:02:25

Just dressed up as logic. It's clever like that because it speaks in your voice. So when you say things like I'm not qualified, they'll probably say no. I'm gonna look really stupid if I try that. It doesn't feel like fear.

Mark:02:41

It feels like being cautious, being sensible. But this is your lightbulb moment. Fear often sounds reasonable until you challenge it. So just want you to stop here. Think of one thing that you've been putting off.

Mark:02:59

Now ask if there was no risk of failure, would I have already done it? Now, the second part that you need to understand is the stories that fear is telling you. Fear doesn't just block action. It builds a whole narrative around why you shouldn't act, and your brain trying to protect you backs that narrative with old receipts. Remember that time that you spoke up and got ignored?

Mark:03:24

Remember when they laughed at you? Remember that test that you failed even though you tried? Fear collects evidence, then uses it like a lawyer in court arguing why it's safer not to try. But here's the truth bomb. Fear isn't usually protecting you from the future.

Mark:03:41

It's protecting you from a past feeling, from embarrassment, from rejection, from shame. So it's not the moment in front of you that's dangerous. It's the feeling you don't wanna feel again. And once you know that, then everything shifts. Because now instead of asking, what if this goes wrong?

Mark:04:01

You start asking, is this fear from now or fear from back then? Now here's the reason why fear feels so real. Now as we've already said, your brain's job isn't growth. It's not confidence. It's not risk taking.

Mark:04:17

It's survival. That means anything unfamiliar, even raising your hand in class or trying to get something that you want, can register as danger. So your body responds. Your heart rate goes up. Your muscles start to tense.

Mark:04:31

Your thoughts speed up, and suddenly every reason not to act sounds perfectly logical. But here's the thing, your brain can't tell the difference between a life threat and a self doubt wobble. Which means you can teach it. You can train your nervous system to recognise this isn't danger, it's just discomfort. And discomfort is where growth begins.

Mark:04:58

So let's take a look at some tools that can break this pattern. So we shift from insight into action. The first tool is the five second window. Fear delays action, and this tool stops that delay. And here's how it works.

Mark:05:13

The moment that you feel that nudge to act before your brain talks you out of it, you've got five seconds. Count it out. Five, four, 321, go. So send that message. Start the task.

Mark:05:27

Speak up. Step forward. That tiny window interrupts the fear spiral so you act before your overthinking brain has chance to catch up. Now try that today. Doesn't have to be big, just something that you usually hesitate on.

Mark:05:42

The second tool is shrink the task. Now you don't need to face the full fear at once. Sometimes courage starts with half a step. If sharing your writing online feels terrifying, then just share it with one mate first. If speaking up in a meeting feels huge, plan what you say and practice it out loud before you get there.

Mark:06:03

If trying something new feels overwhelming, just watch first or commit to ten minutes. Each of these is exposure, but on your terms. You're not waiting to feel fearless. You're teaching your brain, I can handle this. So just think for now.

Mark:06:22

What's one fear for you that feels really huge? Now shrink it. What's a micro version that you could do this week? So now let's look at the third tool that you could use. Expect the fear, but use it as a signal.

Mark:06:42

Here's a reframe. What if fear meant that you're getting closer to something that matters to you? Fear shows up at the edges of your comfort zone and that's where change lives. So next time that fear pops up, ask what is this fear trying to protect me from? What does it think will happen if I act?

Mark:07:02

And then name it. This is fear of rejection. This is fear of me messing up. This is fear of me not being good enough. Because once you name it, it loses power.

Mark:07:16

You're allowed to be scared, but you're just not handing fear the steering wheel anymore. So let me give you a challenge for this week. Pick one thing that you've been avoiding. Name the fear and be honest about it what's it saying? Shrink the risk or use the five second rule just start.

Mark:07:40

Remind yourself fear is just part of the process and it doesn't get to be in charge. So do you want this written out? The cheat sheet for this episode is in the description. It's got simple tools, reflective prompts, and the reminder to come back when fear pipes up again. So just a final reflection.

Mark:08:00

I just want you to ask yourself, where would you be by now if fear didn't sound so reasonable? Now a small request from me. If you know someone who never asks for help but probably needs it, then just send them this podcast. Let it do the talking. Let them feel less alone, and we appreciate you sharing it more than we can say.

Mark:08:22

So let me tell you what we're doing next week. We're talking patterns. The stuff you keep going even when you know it doesn't help, like self sabotage, toxic cycles, and emotional traps. We're also gonna take a look at why they're so hard to break and how to finally change the script for yourself. So if that sounds up your street, come and listen, and we'll see you there.