How to Deal with People Who Don’t Get You
We’ve all been there — trying to explain yourself to someone who just doesn’t get it.
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You say how you feel, and they wave it away.
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You share something you’re proud of, and they roll their eyes.
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You set a boundary, and suddenly you’re “overreacting.”
It’s exhausting. And sometimes it makes you question yourself: “Am I the problem?”
Here’s the truth: being misunderstood doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means the other person doesn’t have the tools, perspective, or willingness to meet you where you are.
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Why Being Misunderstood Hurts
Humans are wired for connection. When people understand you, it signals safety and belonging. When they don’t, it feels like rejection.
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Parents dismiss you → it feels like your feelings don’t matter.
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Teachers mislabel you → it feels like your character is being attacked.
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Friends mock your passion → it feels unsafe to be yourself.
You’re not “too sensitive.” You’re human. Misunderstanding hits your basic need for belonging.
The Different Ways People Don’t Get You
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The Dismissers
They minimise your feelings: “It’s not that deep.” They’re avoiding discomfort, but it feels like erasure. -
The Judgers
They criticise or mock: “That’s stupid.” Judgement often comes from insecurity, but it feels like rejection. -
The Pressurers
They push their script onto you: “If you cared about me, you’d do it.” Pressure is about control, not your worth.
Quick check: do you get dismissed, judged, pressured — or all three?
Why People React This Way
Their reaction usually says more about them than about you.
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Different experiences → they can’t relate.
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Fear or discomfort → your choices force them to face their own stuff.
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Control → especially in families, dismissing you keeps them in charge.
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Lack of skills → some people never learned how to listen.
Their limits don’t define your value.
Three Ways to Deal With It
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Stand by Your Truth Without Over-Explaining
Clear, short statements show confidence. Over-explaining drains you.
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“It feels big to me, and that matters.”
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“It makes sense to me.”
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“I don’t see it that way.”
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Set Boundaries and Stick to Them
Boundaries aren’t about controlling others — they’re about protecting your energy. And every time you hold one, you build self-respect. -
Invest in People Who Do Get You
Not everyone deserves front-row seats in your life. Spend more time with those who listen, respect, and support you. Don’t water dead plants.
The Mindset Shift
Being misunderstood doesn’t mean you’re wrong. It means you’re different. And different is exactly what makes you, you.
Anyone who’s ever done something bold, creative, or outside the box has been misunderstood. It’s not a flaw — it’s proof you’re living authentically.
Your Challenge This Week
Think of one person who often doesn’t get you.
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Decide what your truth is in that situation.
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Set one small boundary and stick to it.
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Spend more energy on someone who does support you.
Life isn’t about convincing everyone. It’s about standing strong in who you are.
The Bottom Line
Being misunderstood hurts, but it doesn’t shrink your worth. Stand by your truth, protect your boundaries, and invest in people who see you. You don’t need everyone to get you — you just need to get yourself.
Mark Taylor
Creator, author and host.
I’m a Qualified/Certified Mental Health Nurse with over 35 years' experience supporting young people and their families. I’ve worked in secure hospitals, eating disorder units, and CAMHS crisis teams—walking alongside adolescents during some of their toughest moments.
My focus has always been on helping young people in emotional distress—especially those who struggle to engage or are finding it hard to stay safe.
I also teach at universities and train professionals across health, education and social care to better understand what young people really need from us.
Headstraight brings all of that together. Just real conversations, grounded advice, and ideas that might actually help. That’s the goal: make it easier to understand, easier to talk about, and more useful to you in real life.
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