Bonus Episode: Do Adults Really Have It All Figured Out?

My name's Mark, and you're listening to Head Straight. Hello, you lot. And this is a little bit of a different episode for you. I had just come out to a local country park, and, well, it's a country park reservoir. Call it what you like.

Name's not important, but it's a very quiet place that I use sometimes just to help my brain reset. Now as many of you will probably guess, I have quite a busy job where a lot of my time is paying attention to other people, is thinking about what other people's needs are. It's kind of what happens with working as a mental health worker. And if you've been listening to different episodes of the podcast, sometimes life can take over like that. It can if you can hear a little padding past me, that's my dog.

He enjoys a nice walk out too, so and also just warning you, sometimes he doesn't like it when I'm sitting here and not paying him attention, so he may start getting a little bit loud, in order for me to carry on walking with him, but do you know what? I don't wanna do that. I wanna sit here and just do this, so let's see what happens when that happens, shall we? Anyway, where was I? So I'm sitting here just enjoying this little scene in front of me.

It's quiet. It's given me time to think. It's given my time frame to slow down. I've got some lovely fresh air, it's a little bit cold and so it's just allowing me to get that sense of peace and that sense of sense of what? Peace.

I think that's it. I can't think of any other word. It just feels nice. As you can hear, there are geese in the background. And I guess, why did I wanna talk to you today?

Well, guess, whilst I was walking over here, I was just thinking about the podcast, thinking about some of the episodes that I've put out for you, and maybe thinking about what it feels like for you to hear some of the things that I say. And on when I was reflecting and just thinking about that, I guess I just asked myself the question, have adults actually got all their stuff sorted too? Have they? And just when thinking about that, I was wondering what assumptions you make as young people with regard to us as adults. Do you remember when I was saying about this dog wanting attention?

Hear it. Listen. That's my dog, everybody. Just to let you know the world. That is my dog, Scout, and my dog, Scout, is a very interesting character.

He is playful, but also demanding and at times very, very in need of my time. And the way that he does it is by barking incessantly until I give in. Don't know whether that sounds familiar for any of you. But anyway, hopefully, he's gonna stay quiet enough for me to be able to carry on my conversation. So where was I?

Yes. I was having a think about what your interpretation is of us as adults because in the world of teens, in the world of young adults, there's a lot of pressure to you from people like me, from adults, and that can feel really hard. And and also, excuse me, I've got a little bit of a coldy thing going, that's part of the reason why I'm trying to come out into the fresh air. So that was making me have a wonder as to what is your interpretation of us as adults because pretty much I would imagine when you can see that there's adults around you that haven't got their shit sorted, but they're trying to insist that you get yours sorted, that must feel really tough and really hard. And so I just wanted to acknowledge that with you, just to let you know that, yeah, that is kind of the way that it is.

And I can speak very much so as an adult. I haven't got my shit sorted, you know. And I don't think anybody if anybody tells you that there is a time when everything is sorted in your life, I would say ask I would question that because the one thing that I can tell you is that every time you think you've got something sorted, life just gives you something else to think about. You may come up against something new, you may come up against something different, Something that was sorted, then may just kink out a line and you have to then look at it again. And this is the way that life works.

So life is gonna continue to throw challenges your way and it and I but and it does for us as adults too. But the one thing that I can say is you can never really control the behavior or the lives of those people around you. That's for them to do. So if there are adults or other people around you that are struggling, then the only control that you have is how you respond to that, what you do in response, and the ways in which you look after you. So that's one of the things that I was just kind of thinking as I was walking over here.

Even though there's a lot of pressure on you to actually get things right right now as teenagers and as adolescents, take the pressure off yourself. Now there also will be the people around you that actually are putting pressure on you to do things because it may be either overtly or inadvertently, it's gonna make them look good. Now, what I'm talking about there is think about school, think about education. Education is really important to you. Yes, it is.

And the world around you is gonna be telling you that your education needs to be sorted and straightened out now. If you don't get your grades, then the rest of your future is gonna be bad. You're not gonna go to uni or you're not gonna go to college. If you don't go to uni or college, then you're not gonna get that decent job. Now this is about other people having maybe some kind of script as to the way that your life should go.

Where are they getting that script? Maybe from their own lives. Now what many people, and I include myself in this, as an adult, I have no idea what it's actually like to be a teenager your age or a young adult living in the world today. When I did that many years ago, it was a whole different ballgame. But some people may still be using that template of their childhood or their adolescence to map out what your life should be like.

Now they're gonna be doing that with the best of interests because you can only work from what you already know. And if that's your template for how life should be when you're an adolescent, then they may try to actually help and support you or want you to live within that framework. But that may not work for you now because, let's face it, there is so much more stuff that you as an adolescent or a young adult or a teen are dealing with right now compared to us. You have got social media. You have got all kinds of other pressures coming your way that we never had.

So in some ways, we, as adults, are never gonna fully know what it's like for you. So the only thing that you can do within that is to help and support other people to understand where you're coming from. Now there are some pressures that may become your way because other people are working for the future you. There might be some things that people see about your future that you, because of where you are in life, you don't necessarily see right now. Maybe the people around you, the adults, the teachers, the mentors, the coaches, maybe they are actually got expectations on you now that are gonna help the future you be better.

Now you've heard me talk about the future you before when I've said, when you're thinking about changing the way you do things now, what does the future you say? You've heard me say that before. Now there will be adults around you that are also doing that very job. They're thinking about the future you and what that future you needs from the present you in order to get there. So there are some things around that that you will be seeing from adults around you.

Now the only way in which you're going to work that out is by testing it. Now I hope that makes sense because if you've gone onto the website and you've looked at the about page and you've read about me, you will know that I've been a mental health nurse for over thirty five years, But I can tell you here and now that still does not qualify me to know everything that you need to know, do, and and be because I'm not you, and I'm not living your life right now. The thirty five years as a mental health worker for me, that's given me some level of experience, but let me share with you. The experience that it's given me also is to never assume what other people need. Okay?

But essentially, I just wanted you maybe to understand a little bit more about where I come from. The podcast is about giving you some advice and some thoughts and some tools that you can use. They're definitely not a command structure, and they're definitely not instructions. And as you know, as I've just said, I don't know all of the answers. I maybe I'm assuming some of the problems that you're struggling with.

Now if there are struggles that you are having that you think, Mark, I really want your opinion on this. I want you to cover it, then make contact with me. If you go over onto the website, headstraight.co.uk, I'll put all the links in the description for this bonus episode. If there's anything in particular specifically that you want me to talk about or you want me to cover, I will gladly do that. And if you wanna share your thoughts and opinions on any of the other episodes, then do that as well.

So anyway, I am still sat on this park bench in this country park here watching the fishermen catch no fish. I haven't seen them catch one yet, but you know, that's their free time, that's their break. Whilst I'm sat on this bench, my thoughts have been a little bit more free flowing and I think that's because I'm just around quiet environments. I've got the sound of the water, the sound of the winds blowing through the grass and it all sounds very what do they call it? All sounds very grounding.

My dog is getting impatient. He's going to start making noises. It's all very what's the word I can't think of that I'm looking for? It's just calming. It's just allowing me to feel a bit more grounded in nature and that has helped my thoughts to flow a little bit more.

Now that might be something that you might experience. So maybe, I don't know, maybe as maybe as something oh, hello. Yes. I know. Shush.

Don't make a noise. So maybe that this could be something that you could try. If there's something that you're trying to work out, maybe just go to a country park, go somewhere quiet where there's greenery and there's fresh air, and just sit down on a bench and just be. Put your phone in your pocket or if you can't resist that, leave it in the car, leave it at home, leave it wherever, not on a park bench. But just maybe sit and be alone with your thoughts and just see what happens because I know for me, this really helps me to shift some things through my mind and help me gain some clarity.

So that's what I use. That might not be the same for you, but maybe try it. Some of the old school stuff might work. So anyway, I just wanna let you know that this is a bonus episode. All the other episodes are gonna continue to go out every Wednesday.

And as I've said, absolutely, if you want to make contact with me to let me to give me any thoughts and ideas about other stuff that you want me to talk about or you wanna leave me a voice note and you're happy for me to use that on the show, do that because that would be awesome. I'm getting a num bum now because this seat's fairly cold, and my dog is getting noisy as you can hear. So I'm gonna stop there. So bye.